Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Sport, Humans

Sunday, 13 May 2012

image for Bizarre 'Human Pinball' Game Craze Sweeps The Nation!
A Couple Of Kids Warming Up For A Game Of Human Pinball

The 'Human Pinball' game is thought to have originated on an internet forum, from where it went insanely viral, and is now catching on across the length and breadth of the UK.

The game itself involves 'players' behaving like pinballs as soon as they leave their residences. Participants are allowed by the rules only to walk in straight lines, being able to change direction only when they collide with another person or stationary object.

Fans of the game admit that it makes the streets of our towns and cities pretty chaotic, but that it's a hell of a lot more entertaining and comical than it ever used to be.

As with any game, the participants possess a broad range of skill levels, with experts having the ability to navigate to the shops and to work in a very short time, while those who haven't thus far mastered the skills required, frequently take ages to arrive at their intended destinations, after veering off in the wrong direction and finding themselves unable to make the necessary turns.

"It took me five hours to get to work this morning," one player revealed. "I found myself striding manfully down the High Street but unable to collide with anybody or any object. Consequently I found myself walking across some fields outside town before finally colliding with a goat in a field, which enabled me to get back on track. I got a right bollocking off the boss when I finally rolled up for work four hours late."

Not everybody finds the game so difficult. Black Hat rated Human Pinball player, Howard Rosseter told reporters:

"It's easy once you've got the hang of it. I can go up the shops, buy beer at the supermarket, put a bet on a horse, and get to work on time and do a good job. My secret? It's like anything else - practice makes perfect. I eat, sleep and breathe the game 24/7 - I even do it all the time at home. Mind you, even I haven't mastered getting to the dishwasher or the washing machine yet. It pisses the wife right off, but I'm sure I'll crack it someday."

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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