Written by IainB
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Friday, 11 May 2012

image for Halifax to change its name
Charlie the dolphin regularly rings Downing street, as the number is similar to Dolmio's, and he likes the tuna deep-pan

Halifax, the post industrial town that sits near Huddersfield and Leeds on the M62, has applied to have its name changed.

"Halifax is so last century," said town Mayor, Keith Bottlebottom. "We need a name for the twenty-first century."

Halifax used to have a booming tourist industry, until it was realised that nearby Barnsley was a better picnic spot, and close by Leeds had more shops. The town council has been accused of living in the dark ages.

"We were accused of being out of touch with the youth of today," said Bottlebottom. "Which is why the new name of the town is Halitext."

After an extensive committee process, the name was chosen to replace Halifax, which was seen as representative of an old technology.

"Let's face it," said Bottlebottom. "Nobody knows what a fax is any more. It's all about texts these days. We wanted a name to reflect that."

Halifax, or Halitext as it will hopefully soon be known, has raised the money to have all the street signs changed from fax to text, a process that is expected to take all day.

"We've kept the Hali and the X," said Bottlebottom, "because a lot of the signs painting on the road don't have room for Halifax or Halitext, and just say Hal'x. This will still make sense. You see, we did think about it. We could have been Haliemail, Hali Berri, or Halitosis."

Ironically, Halitext is the home of the British Fax museum, who are said to be not best pleased, and have faxed a letter of complaint to the government. Who don't have a fax. Somebody at Downing street will be under the mistaken impression that they were rung by a dolphin.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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