Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 10 May 2012

image for Rebekah Brooks had face time with Barack Obama
Kissing Cousins footage should go viral this weekend

London - The flame-tressed diva and the Senator from Illinois met in secret in July 2008 during a presidential campaign to woo the nuts off some power hungry Brits.

Their rendezvous at Blakes Hotel bar in Roland Gardens, South Kensington was recorded by UK spooks who then sealed the report under the 'FD' [F***ing Dynamite] security tag.

Tonight those documents were subpoenaed by the Leveson Inquiry into mobile hacking by the Murdoch empire.

Including - and especially - a razor-sharp video of Brooks' cleavage pulsating rhythmically under the glare of the bar's dazzling lights.

"We call it the kissing cousins footage on account of their bloodlines, heheh," a Disorganised Crime Agency source said today as the ex-News-of-the-Screws editor prepared to face Lord Leveson, "sure could do with some kiss-my-ass time now her's is in a sling."

Since that notorious tryst Brooks has lost her high powered NewsCorpse job, been arrested twice and grilled by police about corruption, graft and doshing up various palmgreasers wearing shiny designer suits.

Her antics astride ex-Metropolitan Police horse Raisa saw PM David Cameron dragged into the sidesaddle amid widespread accusations they'd taken the country for a ride.

This coming weekend a hacked copy of the bar room video is due to be published on the YouBoob! channel, triggering heart attacks on both sides of the Pond.

There's only so much 'injured wife stuff' Michelle Obama is prepared to take.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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