Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Friday, 11 May 2012

image for Great British Menu Chefs Told To Clean Up Their Act, Get A Shave!
Lizzie Celery - doesn't like to eat facial hair.

Chefs competing to cook at a banquet for Great Britain's Olympians should clean up their act, says a cookery expert.

In the BBC's Great British Menu chefs have been competing in regional heats, hoping to go through to their weekly final and eventually a last eight.

This week's contest has almost descended into farce as Johnnie Mountain stormed out and yesterday a distillation machine caused panic when it failed to work - because it had not been plugged in!

But top cookery expert, Imogen Crumble, reckons the chefs need to clean up their act.

"Have you seen the state of their chins," said the EIF News & Features cookery editor. "They all look like they haven't shaved for days - it's disgusting.

"Listen, I don't let him indoors get near me if he's got so much as a day's stubble. I certainly don't fancy eating any food cooked by someone who looks like he's fallen out with personal hygeine!

"I mean - you see them rubbing their chins, holding their heads and then they manhandle the food on the plates! Horrible. Get a shave!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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