Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 10 May 2012

image for Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate
Top suspect Camilla 'lost a packet' at the Grand National

Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout.

It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's corpse was discovered in nearby fields at Mousehole.

Commenting on the gruesome find this morning police said the animals had been subjected to horrendous devil-worship rituals typical of the Hellfire Club's bookmaker banishing rites.

These put a hex on pesky debt collectors sent in to recoup Grand National losses from the royal family.

Bizarre satanic symbols and 'bits of evil twig' around the remains all send a spine-chilling message aimed at deflecting bailiffs sent to frisk the Duchess of Cornwall for her unpaid racing dues.

Coincidentally some graffiti carved into a nearby cliff face spells out the Cornwall Crime Agency's latin motto - Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione ['I'm not interested in your daft religious cult'].

Online betting website Aintgottaprayer.con has cut the odds of Camilla getting nabbed and having to cough up from 33/1 to 5/4FAV.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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