Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout.
It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's corpse was discovered in nearby fields at Mousehole.
Commenting on the gruesome find this morning police said the animals had been subjected to horrendous devil-worship rituals typical of the Hellfire Club's bookmaker banishing rites.
These put a hex on pesky debt collectors sent in to recoup Grand National losses from the royal family.
Bizarre satanic symbols and 'bits of evil twig' around the remains all send a spine-chilling message aimed at deflecting bailiffs sent to frisk the Duchess of Cornwall for her unpaid racing dues.
Coincidentally some graffiti carved into a nearby cliff face spells out the Cornwall Crime Agency's latin motto - Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione ['I'm not interested in your daft religious cult'].
Online betting website Aintgottaprayer.con has cut the odds of Camilla getting nabbed and having to cough up from 33/1 to 5/4FAV.