Written by queen mudder
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Thursday, 10 May 2012

image for Camilla top suspect in satanic horse slayings spate
Top suspect Camilla 'lost a packet' at the Grand National

Cornwall - Local scrimshaw foragers said today a decapitated horse's head on a Cornwall beach had three Prince of Wales albatross feathers stuck in its snout.

It was found washed up on Pentegwam Bay just weeks after a mutilated pregnant mare's corpse was discovered in nearby fields at Mousehole.

Commenting on the gruesome find this morning police said the animals had been subjected to horrendous devil-worship rituals typical of the Hellfire Club's bookmaker banishing rites.

These put a hex on pesky debt collectors sent in to recoup Grand National losses from the royal family.

Bizarre satanic symbols and 'bits of evil twig' around the remains all send a spine-chilling message aimed at deflecting bailiffs sent to frisk the Duchess of Cornwall for her unpaid racing dues.

Coincidentally some graffiti carved into a nearby cliff face spells out the Cornwall Crime Agency's latin motto - Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione ['I'm not interested in your daft religious cult'].

Online betting website Aintgottaprayer.con has cut the odds of Camilla getting nabbed and having to cough up from 33/1 to 5/4FAV.

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 5?

3 14 23 5
53 readers are online right now!

Go to top