Written by queen mudder
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Wednesday, 9 May 2012

image for Brilliant mathematician Gareth Williams 'probably Stephen Hawking's son'
In his youth Hawking was a love god and may have fathered myriad little geniuses

Cambridge - Hawking is known to have shagged a number of trollops keen to fertilise their eggs by such a humungous genius [sic] - back in the daze when he could still get it up.

The former Cambridge University Lucasian Professor of Mathematics has long been suspected of fathering children who vanished under the radar in a smoke-n-mirrors scam.

Last week's Coroner's verdict on hapless cryptographer Williams hinted he'd been pulled off a tricky MI6 project after illicitly accessing secret files above his actual pay-scale.

This morning a suggestion from the shadowy Hellfire Club's internal affairs division reckons Williams might have been tracking 'other' Hawking siblings 'believed to include Susan Greenfield's daughter Kate McCann.'[WTF this bollox? -'Ed']

Another theory asks if Williams might be a sibling of Andy Coulson, embattled former News of the Screws editor and phone hacking suspect.

Which begs the question 'was Williams moonlighting for NewsCorpse' in a bid to finance his love of expensive women's haute couture?

Stella McCartney is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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