Re-elected mayor of London, Boris Johnson, has been sued by Borneo Orang-Utans (well their representatives) because he claimed in a photo shoot that he looked like them.
Orang-Utans are one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet and have more human DNA than Johnson has ever possessed. They took the remark from the Mayor of London as an utter insult and in a Orang-Utan park in Borneo they were shown his photos; they all yawned, scratched their head and nuts then had a communal "wee wee" over his photo just to let Boris know how they felt about the insult.
The park authorities are now suing Johnson for his insults and will be definitely supporting that other primate, Ken Livingston, in the next election.
The Orang-Utans have also told Boris never to visit their sanctuary in Borneo because if he does he will be taken captive and offered as a sacrifice to the local cannibals; but they also rejected the offer.
Johnson has apologised to our next of kin and has promised to release all Orang-Utans being kept in London Zoo and a years supply of monkey nuts as compensation; they told him to stuff his nuts up his baboon butt!