Written by Joe Leff
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Tuesday, 8 May 2012

image for Epsom woman's wheelie-bin goes missing
Have you seen this wheelie-bin?

Surrey police are on the look-out for a 3-year-old wheelie-bin which went missing over the weekend.

Ruby Shanstuff of Moorlitter Street was devastated over her bin's disappearance. "It had all my best rubbish in it," she cried, before phoning the council to see if they had taken it.
"We don't work on Sundays," she was told.

Mrs Shanstuff thought about phoning the police, but she wasn't sure whether they worked on Sundays. So she contacted the Citizens Advice Bureau answerphone and left a message. The C.A.B. phoned her back on Monday and re-assured Mrs Shanstuff that "the police worked all hours Godsend."

The police were soon on to the case and have already issued identikit photos of the missing wheelie-bin, with offers of rewards for relevant information.

Concerned relatives, friends and neighbours are organizing search parties to look for the missing wheelie-bin, and the police have offered Mrs Shanstuff 'crime victim' counselling.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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