Written by IainB
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Monday, 7 May 2012

image for Intelligent Design want a change to the order of lessons
I'm thinking rationally now, and you're talking bollocks

New research in cognitive behaviour has shown that the order in which we learn affects what we learn.

"We believe that maths is deliberately taught before religious education," said Michael Beye, spokesman for the Discovery Institute, the militant arm of the Intelligent Design Movement, which is the new name for Creationism.

Research has shown that if somebody is forced to think rationally, either by doing sums or by teasing out the relationship between a seed and the fully grown plant, then they react less favourably to being asked to believe in supernatural beings, such as Father Christmas, God, the Tooth Fairy and Simon Cowell.

"We want literacy to be taught before religious education," said Beye. "Maths and science can be taught after learning about the word of Cowell."

Teaching science and maths after the humanities lessens pupils abilities to think rationally, weakening their understanding of science and maths based learning.

"We've always done maths and science in the morning," said Kevin Devin, the headmaster at a school in Devon, Texas. "We may have changed it, but now that the Discovery Institute have asked us to change the order, we're definitely not going to. They're idiots, they should have asked us to teach it in the morning. Just about every school would have started teaching it in the afternoon then. I guess all that religious education they do internally has stopped them from being able to think rationally."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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