Written by queen mudder
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Sunday, 6 May 2012

image for Legoland Windsor shut after bosses 'failed to pay electricity bill': report
A whip-round has been organised to stump up some cash

Berkshire - Officials said this morning a 'power failure' has closed the attraction [sic] due to a sub-station outage caused by recent local flooding.

However a mystery phone caller to Radio Free Windsor claimed at lunchtime the theme park has failed to cough up a recent electricity bill.

A cheque for £500,000 for the last quarter's usage is suspected of bouncing amid reports of disastrous tickets sales 'blamed on the JK Rowling effect'.

This saw the world's premier children's fiction hoaxer recently immortalised at the Park in a mosaic composed of 48,000 pricks - er...bricks! - that locals suspect of hexing the tacky entertainment complex.

Others reckon a curse exists on the former Windsor Safari Park site which went bust soon after the opening of the 'African Queen Riverboat Ride' fiasco.

The ride had been inaugurated by Princess Diana whose patronage is thought to have contributed to the Safari Park's sinking.

Bankruptcy receivers eventually claimed some of the Park's animals at its Seaworld exhibit 'had developed Alzheimers' soon after the Princess with Wills and Harry had been spotted feeding the animals at the doomed dolphinarium.

A killer whale, penguins, sea lions and four varieties of dolphin all went slowly mad because of exposure to the daft royal trollop.

Two exorcisms did nothing to un-hex the doomed site.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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