Boris Johnson has come up with a brilliant idea to enhance his own fantastic image and assure the world that he is the right man for London. After consulting with a demented Prince Philip, who often wanders off in his mind back to his Nazi days, they have come up with a plan which will make London not only the epicentre of the planet (Well it is already, ask Londoners), but also reduce the horrendous queues at the worlds most fantastic, shithole, sorry, airport, Heathrow (of course) for non-Europeans.
It will soon be announced that the Queen will not open the games, shock, horror. An effigy of Adolf Hitler will hang over the fabulous, stadium and BNP twat, Nick (Goebbels) Griffin will make a "Mein Kampf" speech. Jesse Owens was also invited, but he refused because he's too busy kicking up daisies.
This opening ceremony will be the ceremony to end all opening ceremonies (especially if Griffin gets his way) and will also make sure that London will for ever remain the epicentre of the planet. Also Heathrow Airport will once again return to being a place of pleasure and relaxation whilst hoping to leave the green and pleasant land instead of it being a "House of Horrors" (Not that one)!