Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

image for Thousands of floating voters fail to bail out Boris
Outside the Poll Booth in Barking this morning

London - A flotilla of search and rescue vessels moored on the Thames has done little to rescue the marooned Mayoral re-election wannabe.

Supporters of Red Ken Livingstone say Boris Johnson's prospects are up the proverbial sh*t creek without a paddle after an overnight deluge put a massive dampener on his prospects.

London lefties reckon a low turn out poll marred by more rain will play havoc with undecided voters.

"Loads of floaters only ever make up their minds after a few stiff sharpeners," Vote Ken brigade sources commented this morning.

"Mostly they'll be hunkered down firmly in their locals watching endless reruns of Monday night's Man City 1-0 Man U disaster.

"Can't say we blame 'em, the man's a right washout."

At the Lonely Stand-Pipe Inn on the Isle of Dogs a mood of sombre alienation filled the Tap Room where the bar's 'swingometer' pointed to casks of London Pride.

"Could be hell to pay for in the morning," publican Reggie Marbles sighed.

"Six to four ON for a hung City Hall."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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