Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 3 May 2012

image for Britain on tsunami alert ahead of Sunday's full moon
Blame the Stand-Pipe Nebula in Aquarius, sign of the water carrier and dodgy Victorian sewers

London - Just one small fracking-related tremor could push the UK's volatile flood waters into tsunami mode No 10 Drowning Street warned today.

Sunday's powerful Scorpio fool moon reacting badly with underground methane deposits is all it would take.

Especially on the Diamond Jubilee Line.

Constitutional seismologists at the government's big bang studies division reckon the ensuing mayhem would be devastating as flood waters rise across much of the country.

A vast month-long build-up is overwhelming aquifers which are ruled in astrology by the fixed water sign of Scorpio.

Around 4.30BST on Sunday morning the lunation will reach climax against a backdrop of other powerful planetary oppositions such as a 'nasty' Mercury/Saturn clash.

"It's the doomsday trigger predicted by the Mayans," Dr Wilbeforce Marsh-Gass tweeted this morning.

"Personally I blame the Stand-Pipe Nebula in nearby Aquarius, sign of the water carrier and dodgy Victorian sewers."

Thames Water plumbers are the best in the cosmos.

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