Written by Katarina Frogpond2
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Topics: David Cameron

Monday, 30 April 2012

image for Dennis Skinner Says "I can't Retire. I've Got Tory Zombies to Slay".
Gandalf when he used to be a Labour Trade Unionist in The 70s

Dennis Skinner has come back fighting after he was cruelly told to retire by David Cameron. He said "I can't leave the House, its got zombies, and I won't leave until every one of them is gone"

Dennis first joined the fight against the zombies in 2003 when he was called up by the league of superheroes to act as an adviser to younger fighters in the Zombie war.

The most successful Parliamentarian Zombie slayer was Michael Foot, way back in the 70s, when he helped stop the zombies from getting hold of a nuclear bomb, but Gordon Brown was very good too.

George Galloway has been helping to train Ed Miliband for the role of Chief Tory Zombie slayer for the whole of Europe, but he hasn't progressed as far yet as the Superhero league had hoped. So they've brought back the old guards who defended our country during the Zombie attack that blacked out Britain's Electricity supply in the late 70s, early 80s.

Dennis says "David knows I'm a threat, that's why he told me to go. But I'm not going anywhere until I've won the Zombie war."

But Dennis has confided in friends that he is not coming back alone. "I'm going to bring back all my trade union friends from the coal miners strike, and we're going to go talk to all those lorry drivers who want to go on strike, and we're going to tell them "Striking is lovely...especially at Olympic time because you get to watch the games while you Strike."

David Cameron may live to regret being mean to the unionist grandads because they may look frail and dithery...but they've got experience slaying dragons of old, and some of them have had magic training in middle earth with Gandalf.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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