Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 27 April 2012

image for Man who took Tories' 'Emergency Jerry Can Of Petrol' advice in Tottenham Court Road siege - report
Lunatic Tory petrol rationing advice behind the siege?

London - A man armed with six jerry cans of premium unleaded gasoline is causing havoc in Central London this afternoon.

Police have surrounded a Tottentham Court Road property amid reports of a siege involving hoarded petrol from last months' Tory fiasco.

The rumpus may have started last month with Francis Maude, Cabinet minister for uncivil contingencies, telling drivers to top up their tanks and carry a spare can or two of fuel.

It now appears that a disgruntled HGV test candidate who repeatedly failed to get his licence took Mr Maude's advice to heart.

Police have named him as Michael Green and said he'd taken hostages from the AdvantageHGV company which trains drivers.

The company is headquartered at the same office block as the Huffington Post's UK base and has now been evacuated along with all businesses in the road.

A passer-by near a Store Street cafeteria said he'd heard Green shouting about 'having fifty quidsworth' strapped to his back and not being afraid to 'light up a ciggie' if things got nasty with the cops.

"I blame the Tories!" a QM-NewsCorpse source added.

"Wanna see pix of Jeremy *unt filling up the tank in Rupert Murdoch's 4x4"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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