British Broadcasting Company? More like the British Brainwashing Facility!
That was the thought of many a British citizen after the BBC mistakenly revealed plans to brainwash the entire UK last night.
It is surprising that their plans have gone unknown for so long, considering they were first formulated in the first half of 2004.
The BBC, thanks to their loss of one of their most popular shows, the US import "The Simpsons", suffered a whopping loss of 64.7% of their audience. They thus devised a brainwashing plan - by broadcasting on the same frequency as ITV, Channel 4 and Channel 5, they were able to fit subliminal frames in, planting the mental suggestion to switch over to BBC. They planned to follow-up on this by repurchasing The Simpsons when Channel 4's contract for the show they had won from the BBC expired in 2008.
This seemed like the perfect plan to reverse their losses - until last night. During a live broadcast of the late-night news, the cameraman set his camera to autopilot and snuck out on the sly for a quick pint in the official liquor bar for BBC workers. Assuming that the camera was off, newsreader Donald McTrevor invited a BBC executive in from offstage to discuss the plan and how it was progressing. Thanks to an error in broadcasting, the next show had not been scheduled - a half-hour of blankout had been planned. However, with one BBC camera still on, the News continued to run - meaning that the entire conversation was filmed and broadcast instantly to the entire nation. Instantly, local newspapers and websites began to report the news.
With the BBC's diabolical plan revealed, this morning a media circus arrived at the BBC studios just ahead of a group of protesters. The BBC executives have locked the gates to the broadcasting studios, preventing entrance. Reruns of old shows from their archives continue to air as if nothing was wrong. Ratings however are plummeting as people go on 'viewer strike' against the BBC. The Head of BBC made a small comment during the News, claiming that they have no plans to stop including subliminal ads. ITV, C4 and C5 have all met, and have discussed ceasing to broadcast on their channels until the BBC stop their subliminal advert campaign. We'll bring you more on this story as it breaks.