Written by IainB
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Wednesday, 25 April 2012

image for Neighbours come to blows over hose-pipe ban
Leave it in the shed, Fred, it's not worth it

Two neighbours in Mundford, have come to blows over one's use of a hosepipe during the hosepipe ban.

Jeremy McAllister gets his water from Cambridgeshire Water, whilst Barry Sprote is with Anglican Water, and their fence is on the boundary of the two authorities. Cambridgeshire Water have not imposed a hosepipe ban yet, but Anglican Water have.

"He'd be out there in all weathers," said Sprote. "Hosepipe in hand watering his garden. Even if it was raining. It was driving me mad."

The two houses are both served by the same pipe, with the water coming from the same source. However, McAllister can use the hosepipe and Sprite cannot.

"He offered to sprinkle his hosepipe over my garden," Sprote said. "I was appalled, and sure that this was against the law. Then he mocked me further by washing his car in the rain. He could barely hold the hosepipe and the umbrella at the same time when he washed his car this morning. I wouldn't mind, but he only washed it last night. That was the final straw and I demanded he stopped."

According to Sprote, McAllister then used the hosepipe to give Sprote a shower, something McAllister denies.

"He got splashed a bit while I was hosing down the windows," said McAllister. "They were the only thing I'd not put the hosepipe on. Barry just went mad. I've not seen him that mad since my BBQ set off his smoke alarms, and that was his fault for having the window open, surely."

According to McAllister, Sprote then launched an all out attack on McAllister, resulting in him nearly being strangled by his hosepipe.

"The police said they could do nothing," said McAllister. "They were all living in Anglican Water and were on Spote's side."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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