Written by queen mudder
Print this
Topics: Kate Middleton

Monday, 23 April 2012

image for Mounting fury at Kate Middleton's £2 million spending rampage
The root of all House of Windsor evil

London - Clothes, jewellery, cosmetic surgery, holidays, credit card bills, exotic pharmaceutical substances and personal 'grooming' worth more than £2 million have been racked up by the grasping royal gravytrain gold digger since her wedding last year.

"And that excludes Royal Protection Racket cops' security bills," a Pubic Accounts Committee [PAC] insider commented, "conservatively estimated at £1.75million."

The source of all that unbridled greed remains shrouded in shadowy Palace accounts - with lackeys refusing to say just how much taxpayer largesse has been heaped on Cherie Blair's money-grubbing spawn.

Official spin claims Prince Charles has given Kate a spending allowance from 'personal' funds - in reality stolen from the Dodgy of Cornwall's coffers.

As Karol Wojtyla/Pope John Paul II's son by Raine Spencer, the dastardly impostor is entitled to precisely zilch of the Duchy's dosh.

But sordid deals with Hellfire Club grandees have seen him promote himself as Heir of the Dog, eldest offspring of the lurid old hag currently channelling Elizabeth Windsor.

Today documents seen by QM-NewsCorpse stringers show the Queen has personally been doshing up Kate - who is her very own blood grand-daughter.

The money has all come from the Civil List which creams off £31 million annually from hard-earned taxpayer funds.

"Bloody disgrace all round," a PAC bean-counter tweeted, "still, won't be too long before she's banged up with Wills in HNP Belmarsh, what?"

Make queen mudder's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 1 multiplied by 2?

4 2 15 8
44 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more