Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: Britain, Weather

Saturday, 21 April 2012

image for Britain Battered By Weird Weather
Waste Not Want Not

Millions of plucky Britons were left reeling today, as the British Isles were battered by what can only be described as 'some really weird' weather.

Health officials advised people to stay at home, unless going out is absolutely necessary. For those who have to venture outdoors, liberal applications of sun blocker were urged, and umbrellas were described as essential accessories.

The weather has been quite disturbing today, with short spells of bright sunshine being punctuated by short spells of gloom and heavy showers. The main problem appears to be that nobody appears to be quite sure how long the sunny spells, or the cloudbursts will last.

"It's like your worst nightmare, this weather," one man declared. "You just don't know where you stand from one moment to the next. Take this morning for example - I had to pop up the shops for some milk, and I didn't want to get soaked, but then I didn't want to overdress and get all hot and bothered either. I couldn't make my mind up which coat to wear, or whether to just wear a light jacket. In the end I opted for a jacket, but sadly I forgot to take a brolly and got a proper soaking when the heavens opened. Then I stepped in a big puddle and got my left foot sopping wet. Still, I suppose it could have been worse - it could have been really windy. Or we could have had a hurricane or a tornado or ten feet of snow or something equally calamitous. But you can't complain. Well, you can, but it probably won't get you anywhere, so you might just as well grin and bear it."

More as we get it. If it stops raining.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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