Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: OAP's

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

image for UK Pensioners complain as their meals on wheels arrive cold; the vehicle was clamped!
UK Clampers new advertising campaign!

UK Clampers, better known as ruthless modern "Highwaymen" or callous thieves and nothing to do with Dick Turpin, decided to do their "good deed of the day" in Poole, Dorset, by clamping a Meals on wheels van.

The driver was delivering a warm meal to a 89 year-old granny and when she returned, released her hand-brake and didn't go anywhere, she then realised that the local, friendly "Clamper team" had clamped her van. She immediately called the "Hairy Bikers" (Who devoted a TV programme to getting wheels on meals back on its wheels), but they were unavailable; too busy baking stodgy cakes in Bavaria, Germany.

So her other customers had to put up with cold meals after the driver paid the "Highway robbers" a £125,00 pound fine and she turned up late. They complained about the cold food and the driver very kindly offered them a match for their unemployed, ancient gas ovens.

Meanwhile the Clampers (not Dick but the greedy Dickheads) decided to reimburse the Meals on wheels driver as long as she withdrew her threat to mention it to the Current Bun, so she did and rightly so!

UK clampers are a bunch of ruthless thugs employed by local councils who have Nazi tendencies to make life miserable for charitable Meals on wheels drivers and OAP's waiting for their warm dinners; "What a world we live in!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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