Written by CaptainSausage
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Sunday, 15 April 2012

image for Chimpanzee joins Mensa
Colin the chimp, pondering his next answer

A chimpanzee called Colin has joined Mensa after scoring every answer perfectly in an IQ test, giving an apparent IQ of 150.

Colin was one of twenty chimps who took the test at the Belgium Institute of Ape Research. Given a series of fifty multiple choice questions, the apes gave their answers by flinging faeces at one of four buckets. The other apes scored around ten correct answers each, but Colin got all fifty right.

Scientists are amazed at Colin's ability, and have tried to persuade him to take up a position in the Belgian government. His response was inconclusive, as the faeces missed both 'yes' and 'no' buckets.

However, sceptical scientists from the University of Britain have pointed out that Colin's apparent genius could simply be a fluke. They have built a faeces-flinging machine which used a rubber glove to throw faeces at a randomly selected bucket. After a thousand attempts it managed to successfully repeat Colin's feat. They have challenged Colin to retake the test, or else be stripped of his Mensa membership.

Professor Rumphorn of the University of Britain said, "This chimp is making a monkey out of Mensa membership. Anyone can get a perfect score once in the test, given enough chances. But those of us who are truly intelligent enough for Mensa can fling our faeces in the correct bucket in every test we take, just like I have done many times."

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