Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Ikea, abs, flat-pack

Friday, 13 April 2012

image for CRIKEA to sell flat-pack six-packs
a new six-pack flat-pack with added app.

Men who wish to improve their midriffs are now able to save time and energy with a super new self-assembly kit.

The Swedish company CRIKEA have developed a balsa-wood based set of rippled abdominal muscles easily assembled from a handy flat-pack.

Each pack comprises a thin, skin-coloured plate of six rounded muscle forms which can be clamped on to a bloke's bare midriff with super long-lasting glue.

According to the manufacturers, it can be assembled and fitted in under two minutes.

Ivor Blubbertum, from Bolton, who has "always fancied Swedish abdominals," was one of the first in the queue to purchase a 'six-pack' flat-pack.

"It didn't take me long to get the pieces out of the pack. But the self-assembly instructions were awful, and one of the tiny wooden plugs was missing. After about three hours, I took my vest off and slapped the 'six-pack' on. But I looked like a right tit - and so did my stomach. As soon as the superglue wears out, I'm going to take it back to CRIKEA."

Another customer, Lonnie Leadbelly, bought the wrong size. "When I got it assembled, it looked more like one of those washboards. My wife says I ought to go and join our local skiffle group."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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