Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: shaving

Friday, 13 April 2012

image for Local Man Cuts Self Shaving, Questions Legitimacy Of Razor Manufacturer
Atkinson Epee - illegitimate?

A local man is questioning the legitimacy of a major razor blade manufacturer following an incident in his bathroom this morning.

Mr Ethelred Verbatim says the incident occurred at around 6.30am during his morning 'rituals'.

"I was getting shaved, as usual," said Mr Verbatim, 47, of Isandlwana Close. "I seem to remember I was humming that Angels thing by Robbie Williams because I'd just heard it on the radio. Anyway, all of a sudden, I nicked myself, just below the nose on the left.

"Well, it started bleeding, of course, and there I am trying to staunch the flow with cold water and tissue paper.

"'Bastard Atkinson Epee' I said to myself - must have been out loud because the missus told me off for swearing when the kids could hear."

Mr Verbatim added that he managed to stop the bleeding and went to work as normal.

Atkinson Epee declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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