Written by Joe Leff
Print this

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

image for Cheap pubs adopt cheap flights business plan
EasyCheap bitter in expensive glass

A new brewery chain has introduced really cheap drinks at pubs throughout the U.K.

EasyCheap Breweries now offer beer and wine at rock-bottom prices in more than ten pubs.

Customers who book in advance are able to obtain the cheapest drinks. A pint of EasyCheap bitter now costs only 20 pence.

"This sounds even better than 'happy hour'," remarked one enthusiastic drinker in a long queue of customers waiting to be served at the opening night of the Ryan's Hair pub in Leeds.

For an extra 20 pence, customers can join the priority queue and get to the bar quicker. With a pre-printed voucher, drinkers simply proceed to the bar and request their drinks. Heavy obese drinkers are discouraged and may be turned away if their waist sizes exceed 40 inches.

After a short wait, during which crisps and snacks are served at inflated prices, customers are asked if they want their drink in a glass. The charge for pint glasses is £4 and for half-pint and wine glasses £3.

Once they've got their drinks, drinkers who wish to drink inside the pub need to pay an extra £5, and for those who like to sit down, the charge is £10.

However, those drinkers who finish their drinks on time are entitled to listen to a free recording on the juke box.

Make Joe Leff's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 3 multiplied by 2?

9 14 6 21
63 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more