Written by Joe Leff
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Topics: Pubs, Breweries

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

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EasyCheap bitter in expensive glass

A new brewery chain has introduced really cheap drinks at pubs throughout the U.K.

EasyCheap Breweries now offer beer and wine at rock-bottom prices in more than ten pubs.

Customers who book in advance are able to obtain the cheapest drinks. A pint of EasyCheap bitter now costs only 20 pence.

"This sounds even better than 'happy hour'," remarked one enthusiastic drinker in a long queue of customers waiting to be served at the opening night of the Ryan's Hair pub in Leeds.

For an extra 20 pence, customers can join the priority queue and get to the bar quicker. With a pre-printed voucher, drinkers simply proceed to the bar and request their drinks. Heavy obese drinkers are discouraged and may be turned away if their waist sizes exceed 40 inches.

After a short wait, during which crisps and snacks are served at inflated prices, customers are asked if they want their drink in a glass. The charge for pint glasses is £4 and for half-pint and wine glasses £3.

Once they've got their drinks, drinkers who wish to drink inside the pub need to pay an extra £5, and for those who like to sit down, the charge is £10.

However, those drinkers who finish their drinks on time are entitled to listen to a free recording on the juke box.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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