Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Protest, Sport, Swimming

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

image for Horseman ejected from local swimming pool
It's a sporting event, why not protest!!

A man on horseback was shooed from Dorking public baths today, after he interrupted a local school's swimming lesson. During a backstroke race, he rode from the changing rooms into the pool brandishing a waterpolo stick.

The man was later identified as Everard Trumpton, 36, of Rectumington Manor, Dorking. He claims that he was protesting against the "lack of elitism" shown by the school, since they didn't teach water polo.

Trumpton, unemployed, protested his arrest by gluing himself to his horse. He has since been released as the local police station did not have any horse-friendly jail cells. He is likely to face a stiff sentence if he can ever be separated from his steed.

This follows last week's events at Newmarket race course when a blue whale was dropped onto the track by helicopter, to protest against cruelty to horses.

Before that the best known sporting protest was Erica Roe, who revealed her voluptuous 34G breasts at Twickenham to protest against sexism in rugby.

Organisers at the London Olympics have warned there will be tough security this August to prevent similar embarrassment. One source has revealed that the London Olympics will be actually a fake "diversion Olympics" to attract all the nutters and terrorists. It will be made to look believable, with lookalike athletes and cardboard cutout crowds, but the real Olympics will be held in a secure underground bunker in China.

"Well if that's what it takes to stop these fools, then let's do it!" said Dorking man Dorking Mann.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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