Written by Jimbo123
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Topics: Olympics

Thursday, 12 April 2012

image for Stratford residents get free passes to all events at the games
"When I look around East London, I feel proud" says high MP

Lord Coe is to sell his home in central London complete with 400m running track and cross country course for a record £300 million - according to Fox & Bride property magazine today.

Coe is said to be devastated that the hosepipe ban means he will be unable to take his horses for their daily swim or water the golf course on his roof.

However, the news was greeted with a roar of applause in Westfield, Stratford since it triggers a special thank you to stricken residents.

Back in 2005 when the bid was accepted, Lord Coe promised tickets for locals to a value of £200m to compensate them for the disruption and chaos but subsequently lost the money on a debauched night in Soho. Now, a spokesperson has confirmed, he will make good on his pledge.

All residents of postcodes ZX1100 and 1000RR should receive their free, non-transferable passes by recorded delivery in the next few days. Passes include a complimentary corporate box for the 100m men's final, and unlimited use of Red Bull's F1 cars between venues.

Controversially, residents just outside the catchment area need to enter a lottery just to stare at the park for more than 30 seconds.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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