Written by queen mudder

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Monday, 9 April 2012

image for Titanic-shaped birthmark appears on Queen's arse
Waiter! Damn Titanic imprint's appeared on one's arse!

Windsor - A silhouette of the tragic liner has suddenly appeared crop circle-like on HM's posterior ahead of tomorrow's RIP centenary.

Royal apothecaries studying the mole said it bears an uncanny resemblance to MS Balmoral, a 5,186 metric ton deadweight cruiser channelling the April 10 tribute trip with 1,309 passengers plus crew.

The 10 deck, 715 ft long ship is named after a royal Scottish residence blighted by generations of faux House of Windsor trolls.

It sets sail at midnight despite Palace soothsayers' fears it presages yet another 'Costa Concordia' on its apocalyptic voyage.

Commenting on the birthmark's sudden apparition royal surgeon-in-waiting Professor Herr-Doktor Joe-Adolf Mengele said this afternoon these wine-colored naevi sometimes appear 'just before some personal tragedy like a fatal seizure'.

"Sink of eet as und karmic 'Stork bite' nevus," Mengele advised courtiers tending the mole.

"Still, zee crematorium camouflagers can work wonders ahead of any pyrotechnics of zee terminal kind."

Prince Philip is on life support.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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