The Prime Minister David Cameron is said to have left Buckingham Palace this weekend looking like Beatrice, after it was disclosed that the next in line might not be human.
The Queen is rumoured to be redrafting centuries old succession laws that could see Monty, Holly, Willow, Cider, Candy or Vulcan succeed to the throne.
Palace officials voiced concerns last week after Damian Hurst was seen leaving with instructions for a bejewelled bone and collar - the assumed replacement for crown and sceptre. More worrying still, carpenters have been asked to dismantle the 700yr old coronation chair and reform it into a kennel in case the unthinkable should happen.
The Queen is said to have reservations about any of her family replacing her - particularly Charles "with all his claptrap about windmills and recycling"
However, if events do take president, the commonwealth is likely to be thrown into turmoil - especially Muslim colonies who didn't like dogs in the first place. The Royal Navy will also be reluctant to change their fleet to 'IMS'.