UK based spoofer and serial idiot, Skoob1999 was delighted to learn today that hacking group, Anonymous UK have hacked his Spoof account.
Skoob, wobbling a bit as a result of Sunday's football results and a tad too much of premium strength Belgian lager, announced that he wasn't really all that arsed about being hacked by Anonymous.
"It's a win-win deal," Skoob told a passing stray cat, which showed little interest. "Yes, they've hacked my Spoof account, and they've messed about with my spoofs, but the upside is that what they've done to my spoofs has sort of made them at least a little bit vaguely amusing. Which is more than they ever were before. I'm a bit of a miserable, grumpy bastard in real life, and not really cut out for being funny, but Anonymous have turned me into the Michael McIntyre of the internet by tweaking a few words here and there. I love 'em me."
At which point, Spoof denizen, Martin Shuttlecock grabbed Skoob by the throat and propelled him violently back indoors as astonished reporters could only look helplessly on.
When asked by a reporter who was the real Shuttlecock/Skoob, the man in the pork pie hat told the assembled press to 'fuck off' and slammed the door.
"There's only him," long suffering wife Anne declared. "Both of them. The truth is that there is no Skoob, there is no Martin Shuttlecock - they're not real. They're just figments of a warped imagination. All there really is, is the same boring bastard I married five years ago. And I wouldn't bother, but my name isn't even Anne...he made that up too. The truth is that he's a really boring bastard and his feet stink and he never helps with the washing up. They should give me a medal for tolerating the prick."
An Anonymous spokesperson told Onion Bollocks that the reason why they had hacked the Skoob Spoof account was because they found Skoob Shuttlecock's pathetic attempts at humour so pitiful that they deemed intervention an 'urgent matter.'
All that remains is a pork pie hat with Bolognese sauce all over it.
The soup thickens...
More as we make it up.