Written by CaptainSausage
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Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for Real-life Jurassic Park shuts down after complaints
Like coming face to face with a dinosaur

A theme park which claimed to "bring dinosaurs to life" has been shut down after a number of complaints from angry members of the public, as well as from the wildlife protection agency.

Dinoville charged £30 per person, but closed down after just two days of operation in an area near Dorking. One child was nearly mauled to death by one of the animals, and several others were injured. Many visitors were disappointed by the unrealistic appearance of the animals - the Stegosaurus appeared to be a cow with cardboard plates glued to its back and painted green.

The most complaints - including those from the RSPCA - were about the so-called Tyrannosaurus Rex. Although certainly as dangerous as the famous dinosaur, it was merely a lion on stilts painted green. It would have attacked and probably killed more children if it had been able to walk properly, the owner said in his defence.

Other animals were poorly made puppets or live animals with pieces glued on. Another common complaint was that the setting for Dinoville appeared to be an abandoned car park, which is not the natural habitat for prehistoric animals.

Dinoville was finally forced to close today after the complaints and will have to refund its patrons. Park creator Derek Fuzz promised that he would be back. "I'll try again, but I realise we need to make it more believable. Next time we'll do it on an island. Like Sheppey."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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