London - An Isle of Dogs primogeniture expert and part-time Scruffs canine championships judge has rubbished the rough mongrels masquerading as members of the Cabinet.
"Bl**dy dog's dinner of pedigree chums," Dame Fifi Rottweiler tweeted this morning, "whelped from the same Tony's Cronies kennels that took us to war."
Her scorn for fake aristocratic bloodhounds - er...bloodlines! - includes Lord Lucan's son George 'Pasty Tax' Osborne.
The impostor Chancellor felt the full thrust of Dame Fifi's ire when she unleashed her disgust at his bigamy in marrying for Kate Middleton in 2000.
Those nuptials have been hurriedly erased from pubic records since the birth of their firstborn son Rex.
Another 'sonofabitch' Tory 'with a penchant for leopardprint footwear' turns out to be Mrs Thatcher's favorite pup - and a top government attack-dog in the whore against terra.
"Damn woman's off her trolley," Rottweiler commented, "fancy letting her loose all over MI5."
Her greatest disgust however is for a top Tory fixer and personal Cameron friend whose fictitious ID was first to be sniffed out by the relentlessly determined dog genome ace.
Apparently the mutt's descended from Greta Garbo's son comedian Peter Cook and a fat old North London trollop recently identified as Elizabeth Taylor's bastard brat Norah Hess.
"He ain't nothing but a hound-dog," Dame Fifi added, "just like the rest of his doghouse chums."