Written by IainB
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Sunday, 8 April 2012

image for European legislation on baby naming to be introduced to the UK
Asda Frozen Food Section at four months old

Parents in the UK may be unaware, but there is an official list of illegal baby names in use in the rest of Europe. Germany has an official baby naming bureau that has the final say on names, whilst there is an eighty-page handbook in use in Portugal.

"There have been several high-profile cases of families being denied the name they chose for their child," said UK baby naming expert, Titty Groper. "This kind of legislation cannot come to the UK soon enough for me."

The Scandinavian countries have previously ruled names such as '@' and 'Brfxxccxxmnp-cccclllmmnprxvclmncks' illegal, whilst 'Anus' was denied in Denmark. Miatt fell foul of the German authorities, who decreed that the name was of 'ambiguous gender', whilst the mother of 'Bridge' in Norway spent two days in prison because of the choice of her fifteenth child's name.

"It makes sense," said Groper. "You cannot have parents naming their children Willy Nilly. If you're surname's Nilly, Willy is an awful name to bestow on them."

The European Baby Naming law is an extension of the Protection for Children laws, and aims to prevent children growing up with names that will leave them open to bullying, persecution or ridicule.

The UK currently has no such protection, which has allowed a couple in Kent to name their first born "Alien Abductee", and a Scottish family to call their new baby girl 'Gazebo' after where she was conceived. A Dorset couple have claimed that naming their daughter 'Asda Frozen Food Section' is not where she was conceived, but just where the couple met.

"Protect our children!" said Groper.

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