Written by queen mudder
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Friday, 6 April 2012

image for Princess Diana Memorial Fountain gushing raw sewage
Taking the piss: the notorious water feature is still spewing nasty effluvia despite the hosepipe ban

London - The lavatory seat-shaped water feature is the latest victim of the hosepipe ban after a thick brownish sludge was seen spurting from its hydro-aeration vents.

Hype Park officials ordered a shutdown of the main pumping mechanism responsible for recycling the installation's usual crystal healing liquids after Thames Water slapped a London-wide hosepipe ban.

The eyesore has joined Trafalgar Square's fountains in the turnoff although eyewitnesses this afternoon denied seeing any dark gelatinous sludge trickling away beside Admiral Nelson's famous monument.

Nearby at Somerset House a fountain sponsored by a shady banker who died in a mysterious arson attack at his home in Monaco was also dry today.

The Edmond J Safra Fountain Court normally uses recycled purified water from the House of Commons gents and other notably piss-taking government orifices.

Last year some daft git put washing up liquid down the Speaker's Bog resulting in a giant foaming mound erupting outside the Somerset House courtyard.

An inquiry later exonerated everyone.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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