Written by queen mudder
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Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?
New pot boiler: the Queen Mum's mother in a racy French maid's outfit

London - A French maid toiling away at Lord Strathmore's stove has been outed as the birth mother of mad-as-a-hatter Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon who became the wife of King George VI.

Marguerite Rodiere was herself the bastard spawn of the Rev Charles Cavendish-Bentinck, grandson of UK Prime Monster William Cavendish-Bentinck, 3rd Duke of Portland.

She came to work at Glamis Castle as a lowly pot-scraper after her sister, Lady Cecilia Bowes-Lyon, Countess of Strathmore and Kinghorne, took pity on her illegitimate French sister.

After much scullery sukllduggery Marguerite spawned at least two brats by the Earl one of whom was eventually passed off as the future Queen of England.

This week's publication of a new pot boiler about the royal deception has carefully omitted saying Queen Elizabeth II is descended from a bastard French tramp who may have cooked the books as well as the family's Sunday roast.

It's also avoided repeating the sadass tale of Lady Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon setting her sights on the Prince of Wales of the day who became King Edward VIII.

Family papers stashed away in Windsor Castle have long documented Lady Elizabeth's daft infatuation with Edward who, although apparently flattered by the unwarranted attention, nevertheless preferred slim women to lardarse royal wannabes desperate for ermine and fame.

The rejection soon saw Elizabeth throw herself at younger brother Bertie who acceded to the Throne following Edward's 1936 abdication.

Of course the marriage was spun as happy and fruitful.

However close family relatives were appalled at what a bossy control freak the newly ennobled royal wife really was and how she micromanaged her husband's every move under the guise of affectionate wifely concern.

Marguerite Rodiere's personal documents - including a sworn statement she signed in 1911 about her role in farrowing the two Strathmore brats Elizabeth and her younger brother David - have never been published.

All that may now change amid a public outcry at having been sold so much pernicious House of Windsor crap.

The Earl of Ballybollox is 69.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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