Written by Skoob1999
Print this

Saturday, 31 March 2012

image for Comedy Website Swamped By Mature Women Who Are All Gagging For It
An Angry Spoof Punter Pictured In 2006

Consternation widespread among readers of tatty comedy website TheSpoof.co.uk recently, as the usual output of blinding idiocy in the written medium has been swamped with advertisements featuring mature ladies who don't actually claim in as many words to be 'gagging for it' but obviously are.

One reader complained that the constant stream of alluringly clad munters in 'erotic' poses was completely ruining his enjoyment of the Spoof's inane output of amazing stories about pies, pork bellies, celebrity sexual exploits, Cockernee garage mechanics and ousted Bolivian dictators.

Even Spoof staffers are becoming increasingly alarmed by the constant distraction of endless pictures of chubby matures wearing spectacles sitting on beds, or in back gardens on run down council estates.

"It's getting pretty bad," admitted staffer Martin Shuttlecock. "As a regular contributor to the site, one can't help but suspect that a barrage of pics of sexy old skanks provocatively draped on beds and up against garden fences somehow detracts from the quality of the penmanship. It's just wholly inappropriate. It's terribly distracting, having to look at some 'sort' in stockings and suspenders leering at you through myopic eyeballs while you're trying to read about Tulisa off the X-Factor giving some crap DJ a swift nosh. I mean, how can the average reader be expected to concentrate on tales of woe in Nottingham when there's an old bag in 'fuck me' shoes leering off the page? It lessens the impact."

When independent news generator, Skoob News, contacted TheSpoof.co.uk's Editor In Chief, Mark "Sick Note" Lowton, he refused to comment.

Other than to snigger. Our man thought he'd heard Mr Lowton say:

"If the silly sods think this is bad, wait till they see the advertising line-up for April. As well as the glorious return of the fabulously erotic Evony ladies, we've got 'Shag A Slapper Up Against A Skip Tonight!' and 'Horny Girls With Big Natural Tits Are Waiting For Your Call Right Now!' lined up."

But our man wouldn't swear to it.

More as we get it.

Make Skoob1999's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story


Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!


What's 2 multiplied by 5?

8 10 9 25
45 readers are online right now!

Go to top

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more