Northern Ireland - A Fermanagh man has described how he found some 3,000 year-old gold jewellery 'down an ancient bog' at Belle Isle.
"At first I thought some alien maybe slipped one down the pan, like," Seamus McShergar said today, "on account of so much extraterrestrial activity involved in taking a dump round here."
"Then the barman at my local said it's an ancient artefuct - maybe from the same period as a stash of Roman coins found behind a Barking woman's bath last week."
His stunning gold rope find has been identified by museum curators as a flange-twisted gold torc from around 1300-1100 BC, possibly part of the Broighter gold hoard found in 1896 near Limavady.
"Folks round here is always mistaking these twisted gold spirals for suspension springs found on vintage cars and antediluvian spacecraft," local hysterian and Rotary Club chair Paddy O'Fields commented.
"Still, should be worth a bob or two."