Written by Ellis Ian Fields
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Topics: Survey, cleaning, ironing

Monday, 26 March 2012

image for Women Who Love Cleaning
Mrs Spools

A third of women secretly love cleaning, a survey has revealed.

The results of research by pharmaceutical manufacturers, Thornton and Ross, show that many women find giving the house a once-over "satisfying" or a "therapeutic" expererience.

But four out of ten of those who enjoyed sprucing the place up said they would never tell their partners.

The three most enjoyable tasks were vacuuming, tidying up and wiping surfaces clean. The most hated were cleaning the oven and lavatory and ironing.

We commissioned PollsRUs to see if local women followed these trends.

"Oh no dear - not with my brood," said Mrs Nuala Spools at number 33. "This place is always a tip, what with toys left everywhere and the baby throwing food about.

"I doubt the place is ever properly clean - and if Mr Spools wants his shirts ironed, he has to do them himself."

"Oh yes, I can safely say the little lady loves cleaning the place when she gets home from work and before she cooks my dinner," said Mr Onan Chauvin, of Schopenhauer Mansions. "Then it's out with ironing board... no it's all right dear, don't worry your little head, it's just a man asking if you like housework... I told him you love it - have you ironed my golf trousers yet?"

Militant lesbian separatist, Molly Q, who lives in the upstairs flat across the road, said: "Any male pig does his fair share of cleaning in this house.

"No, I don't have a male partner to do his bloody share, so the place gets a bit grubby, I guess.

"Are you looking at my tits? Bastard!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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