London - A sub-machinegun toting assailant is being hunted after pumping several rounds of ammo into exiled Russian banker Mr German Gorbuntsov near his Isle of Dogs home today.
The former owner of failed Russian and Moldovan banks has been hiding out in London following embezzlement and corruption charges back home.
Eyewitnesses said a macho-looking bare-chested balding man on a snowy white charger - possibly a Vladimir Putin lookalike - was being sought by police.
Today's shooting marks the official start of the London drive-by hit 'n' run season which traditionally peaks during Holy Week.
Police investigating the Gorbuntsov incident said they would not be analysing horse shit droppings found in nearby Byng Road despite suggestions they DNA test it against 'crap' from retired Met mare Raisa, of Rebekah Brooks and David Cameron fame.
Mr Gorbuntsov is under police armed guard in intensive care at an unnamed hospital where surgeons have removed almost a dozen bullets.
An update will follow shortly.