Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 22 March 2012

image for Barking woman 'finds Roman coin hoard behind bath'
Ancient Roman coin cashe partially obscured by this intimate bathing tableau

Isle of Dogs, East London - Dame Fifi Rottweiler has spoken of her delight when 30,000 Roman coins unexpectedly spilled from behind the bath during an afternoon's ablutions listening to Radio Four.

"It's the biggest hoard of turd," Dame Fifi explained, "er...third! - century AD currency ever discovered since the Frome discovery of April 2010."

The silver sistercies had been wedged behind a hot tub panel 'since well before the Black Death' according to the curator of Barking Natural Hystery Museum who classified the cache as Treasure Trove.

"That's the Ancient Romans for you," Sir Peregrine Poobah commented on the Museum blog, "always using cunning stealth to preserve their plumbing as well as their dosh."

Roman Baths experts said tonight they'd requested a formal valuation of Dame Fifi's stash ahead of mounting an exhibition about the find.

"A montage vivante of the naked Dame covered from head to toe in the sparkling silver coins is bound to be a crowd-puller," Sir Peregrine added.

"Wanna see a mock-up where she's wearing flesh=toned shapewear?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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