London - Presenter Jeremy Poxman, no relation, is said to be gobsmacked by the headlines tonight.
A hush-hush probe into the training/recruitment company that harvested £200m a year from government con-tricks - er...contracts! - has finally found the evidence massive corruption.
It leaves disgraced ex-A4E CEO Emma Harrison clutching at (Jack) straws following her frantic February resignation as David Cameron's 'families Tsar'.
The 41 year-old has been accused of gross daftness after Newsfright checked out her DNA...and found a perfect match for Cherie Blair and fugitive con artist the Earl of Lucan.
Her February 2012 resignation saw five other company officers arrested and probed over fraud allegations as remorseless gravytrain rumors suddenly began coming home to roost.
Someone at the UK's Serious & Disorganised Crime Agency said this evening that suspicions began when Harrison was sent an invitation to the royal wedding last year.
Surreptitious bugging of Kate Middleton's Hackberry SMS messages soon established that the two are sisters - because Cherie also shagged an Italian gangsta who fathered avaricious royal wannabe Kate.
"Whole thing's a bloody nightmare," a former Beeb Newsfright producer tweeted tonight.
"Wanna see pix of Harrison and Middleton ratarsed at the official hen-do last March?"