Written by queen mudder
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Thursday, 22 March 2012

image for NewsCorpse behind 'royalty fees' to WMD dodgy dossier creative writing team
Amuse-Bush: scrumptious inter-couse mouthfuls a fine reward

London - The thorny problem of discretely doshing up helpful sources inclined to parrot a Government war agenda was made a helluva lot clearer today.

Apparently some slithery - er...dithery! - MoD top brass became convinced of the existence of Saddam's WMD arsenal following a lavish NewsCorpse twist on 'Come Whine 'N' Dine With Me.'

Big brown envelopes 'stuffed with moolah' were just the antipasti in fabulous five course feasts where the dish of the day was automatic gong preferment in the Queen's Birthday Honors.

Little amuse-bouche tidbits, complimentary £500-a-pop Crystal-meth champagne and other scrumptious inter-course (don't ask!) mouthfuls were also on the menu at London's Poison Ivy Cafe.

This morning the entire gastronomic experience was laid bare as police probing huge backhanders to the UK military reviewed previously classified video footage of Buckingham Palace's November 2003 State Banquet for President George W Bush.

Ratarsed from over-imbibing on Prince Philip's home brewed ouzo Bush is heard praising great-niece Rebekah Brooks for her modern Spanish Inquisition-style news gathering techniques.

"Any time you wanna sit on my lap, dahlin', just holler!" Great Unka Dubya croons in her rear - er...ear!" as a sweaty little paw squeezes the fiery redhead's embonpoint.

The rest of the footage has been erased amid mass projectile vomiting fears.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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