London - Backbenchers have made a formal complaint that Commons-issue extra strong fresh breath mints are failing miserably to do what it says on the packet.
This morning at Westmonster Hall the PM was seen sucking** on something a bit more potent (don't ask!) as both Houses gathered to hear an address by the UK's top spinner of the Diamond Jubilee fantasy, the Mad Hatter Queen of SW1.
"Dave's been punch-drunk on Thatcher's Old Peculiar ever since they busted Coulson," the chair of the stalwart 1922 Committee commented at lunchtime, "those 'Cops took Cameron for a ride' broadsheet headlines haven't exactly championed his equestrian habits, have they?"
Another insider said that last week during his Obama cringefest the CIA had tipped Cameron the wink that 'he'd been under surveillance by Special Branch' ever since 1994.
"That operation included Coulson, Rebekah Brooks and all the other snoopers in the KGB's covert Hole of Fame, heheh," the anonymous deep throat explained.
"No bloody wonder he's on the sauce."
**(Good taste alone bars identifying Sally Bercow as that potent sauce - 'Ed')