Written by Jaggedone
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Monday, 19 March 2012

image for Rolls Royce abducts Ed Miliband!
Not the same model, but definitely the same owners; very rich aliens!

Ed Miliband was on his way to a NHS rally to give his support to these very important causes; nurses pay, bad conditions, closing NHS hospitals, etc. Ed was also not feeling well himself that day, but still he managed to rally up enough strength. He jumped in his crappy old Ford Focus and drove off; what a fine example for one of UK's finest socialist politicians.

Suddenly, whilst filling up at Tesco's (cheap-skate) a passing, mysterious, chauffeur driven Rolls Royce Phantom (appropriate name) pulled up alongside Ed, opened its doors and Ed mysteriously disappeared leaving his Ford Focus on the forecourt; after all he's a staunch AA member, no problem.

Ed was last seen in Hull exiting the Roller, looking quite pale, but smiling. He did attempt to escape along the route, but the Roller's doors would just not open (central locking; you know) and the "champers" tasted too good anyway.

He was then escorted into Hull City football ground in handcuffs and appeared next to multi-millioniare tycoon, Assem Allam. He was then forced to watch a pretty boring match between Hull City and Ipswich.

After the match Ed was found wandering lost on the M1, £100 Grand in his pocket and totally smashed (champers I guess?). A NHS ambulance was sent out to pick him up. Thank the Lord and Labour that the UK have the NHS otherwise they could have lost their future PM to a bunch of very rich aliens owning Rolls Royces!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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