Written by queen mudder
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Monday, 19 March 2012

image for London UFO belting out 'If I Fooled The World Every Day Would Be The First Day Of Sting' subliminals: report
Bloody UFO flypast in my soup, George!

London - The MoD confirmed today it was monitoring the flypast anthem ahead of Tuesday's Vernal Equinox.

A tip-off from the International Space Station saw RAF jets scrambled to check out intelligence taht an alien mothership is about to suck up into its innards some old Cold War hasbeen, 'maybe Mrs Thatcher or Queen Elizabeth'.

Reports from the RAF Menwith Balls listening station where signal decryptions are being studied came up with several permutations on the old Tony Bennett number recorded by various piss artistes including - most recently, David Cameron and Nick Clegg.

"We think it could also be a global warming scam song," Air Commodore Sir Monty Dambusta announced at lunchtime, "sounds an awful lot like Prince Charles' 'If I Cooled The World Every Day Would Be The Burst Pipe Of King' emissions mantra."

At Buckingham Palace a ratarsed Lord Chamberlain complained bitterly that "the Queen doesn't like having the mickey taken with spurious alien-themed bollox about her dropping dead tomorrow" - following a Royal Ascot bookies' pact that will see her live until 100.

Yuck.

Meanwhile organisers of tomorrow's International Astrology Day conference in London admitted they stood to win a packet if the Vernal Equinox really does snaffle up Old Fatty Mountbatten - as she is known in cosmology circles.

"Makes sense, innit?" spokesperson Dame Aretha Asteroid tweeted confidently at teatime.

"Wanna see pix of Phil the Greek siphoning off North Sea oil deposits straight into the tank of his Lamborghini?"

Yuri Gagarin died in mysterious circumstances aged just 34.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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