Deputy Prime Minister, LibDem leader Nick Clegg has urgently contacted his doctor for advice about several health questions.
The Doctor has prescribed 'think again' pills for Clegg and said he would be arranging for a consultant to 'take away all Clegg's problems'.
'The course of treatment' the Doctor suggested 'will require a complete rest for several years. The rest should be taken as soon as possible, but by 2015 a rest will be essential.'
Staff at Nick Clegg's office were busy looking up the symptoms of Clegg's mystery illness and trying to find out more about 'think again' tablets. A source has revealedto them that Clegg's illness is likely to be terminal if he doesn't respond to medical advice.
Our political correspondent has been following the situation closely and has discovered that Clegg's illness is probably infectious and that several LibDem colleagues and even some Tories are 'in Clegg's boat, which is sinking fast'.
MP's who are adamant that Clegg has always kept to the 'Hypocratic oath' whilst in Parliament are astonished to learn the forbidding medical facts which could mean that their Hypocratic oath is replaced by the totally different Hippocratic oath, favoured by the medical profession.