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Saturday, 17 March 2012

image for Grumpy Yorkshireman Plans Chips N Gravy Airdrops For Syrian Rebel Forces
There's Nowt Sexy Abaht Genocide - Ken Mither.

Grumpy Yorkshire 'Chips N Gravy' campaigner, Ken Mither, 69, of Cleckhuddersfax has announced plans to airdrop emergency supplies of chips and 'proper' gravy to beseiged Syrian rebel fighters in the city of Homs.

Announcing his plan in a press conference at Batley Variety Club, Ken Mither related that his ambitious scheme brought back vivid memories of the Berlin Airlift, during which Sir Freddie Laker introduced East Germans to the alluring and somewhat novel prospect of budget air travel.

But Mither admits that he's facing an uphill task of Sisyphean proportions.

"Aye lad, it'll be a struggle - nowt no surer," Mither conceded. "But yon rebels can't fight agen a ruthless dictator baht summat substantial in their bellies. That Mediterranean muck just doesn't cut it in a warfare scenario. I mean, it didn't do Mussolini much good did it?"

Mither went on to state that his intention is to airdrop millions of portions of chip shop chips steeped in proper gravy, to the Syrian rebel fighters, in the hope that they will be able to sneak up on President Assad while he's having carnal relations with his Chiswick born wife - dressed up like Super Mario.

Or Sonic or something.

"Thing is, reet..." Mither declared. "Tha needs proper grub if tha's gonna stage a revolution. These lads need proper chip shop chips and real gravy if they're gonna win through in the end. It's abaht time yon murderin' bastard Assad were brought to book. The killin' as to stop somewhere. And when yon rebels 'ave dispatched the tyrannical fuckpig - they'll erect a memorial to the vital role of chips wi' gravy in't town square. Or summat. Probably."

Indeed.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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