Doubt is a small underground village at the centre of lead mines in Derbyshire, where the Pot-Holing competition is to be held. The course involves lying on your back on a floating plank, and stepping along the roof, whilst downing a pint of Pollard's Premium and placing posies in the passing pots of poor people.
When the organisers were asked about their readiness they said "We are bomb proof - however there is a possibility of running out of Pollard's Premium, but in reserve we have two tankers full of the lager that most folks call beer.
As the caverns of Doubt are lead lined, today's technology is useless, so news is brought to the outside world by reposted White House reporters, who listen to what they are told, and then try to convince everyone it is true.
It is true that at the end of a three week long underground competition one winner will emerge. He will be the man who has consumed more unreported Pollard's than anyone else, and still climb out of the hole, thus proving that Pollard's is the champion of ales.
Anybody know what lager from a wooden barrel tastes like?