Written by Joe Leff
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Tuesday, 13 March 2012

image for Water companies introduce hosepipe bins
Bin it, it's banned.

Seven water companies yesterday announced plans for huge bins to collect hosepipes.

The utility providers said that the bins - the largest ever used - will be placed in strategic locations throughout southern and eastern England.

Residents in these regions will be asked to put all their hosepipes in these bins as soon as possible.

"These huge collection bins should bring in vast numbers of hosepipes," said Neville Tersty, a Water Board spokesman. "If we join them together we'll be able to siphon loads of water from up north down to our parched regions."

Customers risk a fine of up to £1,000 if they fail to off-load their hosepipes into their nearest hosepipe bin.

At the end of this massive siphoning period, residents will be able to retrieve their own hosepipes for normal use again.

"Customers will also be entitled to free use of any residual water still in their hosepipes," added Mr Tersty, "so it's a good deal around."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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