Written by CaptainSausage

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Topics: Water Shortage

Monday, 12 March 2012

image for Water Companies Introduce Hosepipe Ban
Mmm, bath time

Following a series of dry winters, water companies across the South of England are to impose a hosepipe ban for the first time since 2008. The ban will cover hosepipes used for watering gardens, wet T-shirt contests and for practical jokes.

Professional clown Bozo Miliband has said the ban will threaten his livelihood. He often performs a "comedy" routine in which he looks into an apparently faulty hosepipe, at which point it splashes him in the face. Already clowns across the south are considering a change of career.

Meanwhile in Dorking they have an alternative solution to the water shortage. There, the locals have come together and campaigned for the local water company to be taken over by Tizer. Now their taps have been converted to be connected direct to the Tizer factory, they bathe twice a day in the fizzy red carbonated drink.

They even use it to make coffee and tea. Not only that, but their bills are a fraction of what they were before.

In Scotland the idea has been around for years. There millions of people have converted their houses to have Irn Bru on tap, so they can export their unwanted water to England.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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