Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 11 March 2012

image for Wolfgang All Set To Be Most Popular Boy's Name In 2013
What Happens When The Little Wolfgangs Go Out To Play

Once considered to be an almost exclusively Germanic name, Wolfgang is experiencing an explosion in popularity among young British mums, who have been using the handle to name their male offspring in unprecedented record numbers.

Figures from The Office Of Damned Lies And Statistics reveal that so far this year, a stunning 211,987 male babies have been named Wolfgang.

Some analysts attribute the rise in Wolfgangs to the surge in popularity of the late classical composer, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, whilst others say that girls have picked up the name from watching their grandparents DVD's of the 1966 World Cup Final, when Wolfgang Weber scored for West Germany.

Some cynical observers have suggested that the increase in the use of the name stems from last summer's riots in London and other cities, where gangs of feral youths attacked the police and set fire to lots of stuff as they robbed and looted at will.

Trending experts assert that a million Wolfgangs will be born this year.

Single mum of 17, Pizzahut Golightly, of South London explained why she has named her latest son Wolfgang:

"Coz Wolfgang's cool innit man. E is a wolf, like as in he's gonna be well 'ard, and him gonna be in a gang too innit mate an ting. Wolfgang! Yeh man! Dat well bangin' dat an ting!"

Analysts predict that the summer of 2027 will be equally as hectic as that of 2011 - although by then, they expect all British bobbies to be armed to the teeth.

More as we get it.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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